


our insecurities laid bare

by broken_fannibal



Category: Broadchurch, Good Omens Extended Universe, Masters of Sex
Genre: Bisexual Alec Hardy, Bisexual William Masters, Communication, Crossover Pairings, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26515024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fannibal/pseuds/broken_fannibal
Summary: Alec gets a scare when he jumps to wrong conclusions, something happens to Bill that hasn't happened to him in a long time.
Relationships: Alec Hardy/William Masters
Comments: 16
Kudos: 41





	our insecurities laid bare

**Author's Note:**

> (I deliberately left out one additional tag because it would be a spoiler, I'm 99.9% sure it's nothing triggering but I still put it in the end notes)
> 
> I’m working on sticking to one pov for longer and writing the whole pov thing more consistently. still room for improvement obviously but I'm (trying to) improve my writing so I need to share that xD
> 
> I couldn't resist putting in some parallels between their behaviours and some lines of dialogue

Alec drifted into a half-awake state. He turned onto his side, sleepily reaching out to wrap an arm around Bill.

But he wasn't there.

He cracked an eye open.

The bed was empty...

He opened the other eye and frowned. Where was he? Had he gone to the bathroom?

It seemed like the only possible option.

So he settled in again, waiting and listening. There was nothing. No noise that indicated the bathroom was in use. Instead, he heard something else. Shuffling and rustling. Quiet steps that walked a very short distance. Steps again. More rustling.

His frown deepened. What did those noises mean? What was Bill doing?

He got up and walked out of their bedroom. "Bill?" he called into the dark.

But he got no answer.

He listened for the noises again. They came from his right, he turned and walked towards them.

And there he was. Bill stood in front of the open closet, still in his pyjamas, folding clothes and putting them into his small suitcase.

Alec watched and waited, a moment later, he noticed Bill was only taking his own clothes. Dread crept up his spine.

Why was Bill packing his clothes in the midle of the night? Was he leaving?

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice trembling.

But he didn't react.

Was Bill ignoring him? Why would he do that? 

Fear settled in his gut like a heavy stone.

He reached out to touch Bill's shoulder, intending to turn him around, to force him to acknowledge him.. "Bill?" he said with no small amount of desperation.

Bill showed no reaction. He let himself be turned around, he was looking at the shirt in his hands, pausing for a moment before continuing to fold it.

Alec felt tears prickle in his eyes. What was going on? Why didn’t Bill answer? Why didn't he react at all? Why was he ignoring him?

“Bill!” He shook his shoulders, strong enough to make him sway. “Don't ignore me! Please! Tell me what I did!”

He blinked. His eyes focused. He looked up. A small frown formed on his face when he looked at Alec. “What’s going on?”

Alec stared at him for a moment. "I asked you the same thing!” He let go of Bill’s shoulder. “Why are you up in the middle of the night packing all your clothes into a bag?" He couldn't keep his voice from trembling.

Bill looked at the shirt in his hands, his eyes wandered to the open closet, he swallowed. Slowly, he put the shirt back. "I'm sorry I scared you," he said quietly.

Alec looked at him, waiting for a proper explanation.

Bill turned back to him. His eyes flicked up to his face for a short moment. Then he stared at his hands again. "I sleepwalked."

"Oh." Alec nodded, his worry eased a little. At least this meant Bill wasn't leaving him. But there was still the reason... Why had he started packing his clothes? Even if he had done it while sleepwalking.

When he looked at Bill again, he noticed he seemed somewhat shaken. "What is it?" he asked softly.

Abruptly, Bill looked at him, his eyes wide. "I haven't done this since I was a child," he said after a while.

Alec took his hand and squeezed it. "Do you know why you might have started doing it again?"

Bill was quiet, then he spoke. "I have a few ideas..."

And that was it.

Alec waited but nothing came. Bill wasn't going to tell him. He was going to keep this, something that obviously worried him, to himself. It by far wasn't the first time.

Deciding he was too tired to do this now, he pulled at Bill’s hand. "Let’s go back to bed."

With a small nod, Bill let himself be pulled along.

Once they had settled in, Alec drifted off into an uneasy, dream-ridden sleep.

  
  


It was no better for Bill.

When he woke up in the morning, he still felt tired. He stretched and slowly opened his eyes. Alec sat next to him, reading, he looked over when he saw Bill stir. “Morning,” he rumbled.

Bill cleared his throat. “Morning.” He slowly sat. “How did you sleep?”

Alec shrugged, he set his book aside. “Could have been better. You?”

“Yeah.” He suppressed a yawn. “Practically the same.”

Silence settled over them.

After a while, Alec asked: “Can we talk about last night?”

Bill could instantly feel his heart starting to beat faster. “Okay.” He nodded.

“You said you have some ideas why you might have sleepwalked again.” His tone was immediately more serious. “Could you tell me?”

Bill took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He knew this was one of those conversations where he should be honest, where he needed to reveal what he thought and felt. He felt comfortable enough around Alec to do so. But there was always that initial anxious reaction. “I’m unsure. About a lot.” He nervously rubbed his hands together. “This relationship- our relationship is important to me, _you’re_ important to me.” Then, quietly, he said: “I’m worried I’ll fuck up in some way. That you won't like me anymore.” His heart hammered against his ribcage, he couldn't bring himself to look up.

“If you ever did, fuck up I mean, I’d tell you. I wouldn't turn my back on you without a word.” Alec said calmly.

Bill could tell he was being completely honest. And it calmed him. Slowly, he looked up. There was a soft expression on Alec’s face.

Suddenly, Alec cringed and hurriedly added: “Doesn't mean I expect you to fuck up.”

A smile spread on his face, relief washed over him. “Thank you.”

Alec took his hand and gently squeezed it. After a while, he said: “I hope you know that... whatever it is you're worried about, be it about our relationship, something I did, something you did, we can always talk about it. I know it's too easy to think it doesn't matter or that you don't matter but there's always a chance we can reassure each other.”

Bill felt himself tearing up a little. He squeezed Alec's hand back. He had changed and grown as a person since he had met Alec. It had become easier to let himself feel, to express what he felt, to communicate. In that way, Alec had inspired him to work on himself. Seeing the way Alec interacted with his friends, with him, had practically been new to him. Seeing that kind of behaviour in a man. It wasn't the way he had been raised.

Alec slowly let go of his hand and held out his arms.

His heart leapt. He shuffled closer, wrapped his arms around Alec and rested his head against his shoulder.

“You really had me worried last night,” Alec mumbled into his hair.

At that, he mentally perked up. Was this something they should talk about? He leaned back a little, just enough so he could see Alec's face. “What were you worried about?”

Alec averted his eyes. “Was worried you were leaving me,” he said quietly.

“Oh...” He swallowed. “But why would I do that?” He kept his voice as soft as possible, trying not to make it sound like he was accusing him.

Alec shrugged. “I know it's stupid.”

“I didn't say that.” Bill tilted his head, trying to catch his eye. “Could you tell me?”

He licked his lips. “Pretty much the same thing you were worried about. That I did something wrong, that you hate me.” Even quieter, he said: “Or that you found someone better.” Alec squeezed his eyes shut.

Bill felt his heart grow heavy at hearing about Alec’s worries, his insecurities.

“I know you don't always communicate what you’re thinking about. If something hurt you, for example, so I didn't know if there was something that I simply wasn't aware of.”

“Alec...” he said softly.

“ 's probably not fair to you since you _have_ gotten better at it, a lot better.”

“No...” Bill started. “This is something you worry about, that's okay.” He desperately tried to find something to properly reassure him. “There hasn't been anything that you did wrong, or something that hurt me.”

Apparently that had been the right thing to say since Alec relaxed. The tension faded from his shoulders, he smiled softly. “Thank you.”

Bill smiled back. “Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> spoiler tag: sleepwalking  
> (maaaybe I should have researched sleepwalking and what can realistically bring it about but it’s too late now. xD)
> 
> thank you for reading! if you enjoyed it please consider leaving kudos/comments! <3


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